BJs are all my idea. Not because I feel like they’re my “wifely duty” by any stretch of the imagination, or something I owe to him because he’s the primary breadwinner or some equally stupid and archaic school of thought. Not because I’m trying to coerce or bribe him into rewarding me somehow; it’s not like he leaves $50 on the nightstand afterward. It’s not a bartering tool, not some type of relationship “currency.”